That morning Ted sat on the windowsill in his dorm room, imbibing a bracing cocktail of Hi-C and Clearly Canadian. It had been a brutal night. After he had made his move the ladies on the floor, Ted had returned to his room, knowing the lot of him would soon be following. How could they not? He knew the power he had over them. Anticipating a night of breaking furniture and women screaming in ecstasy, he fortified himself accordingly, rapidly draining the contents of a two liter bottle of Jolt and even-what the hell- swallowing a handful of No Doz. He knew he would need endurance.
But then- how could this be? The women never showed. Ted had smoothed down his robe and arranged the pillows on his bed in what he was sure was an alluring fashion. And yet even after those efforts, no one had shown. He had been betrayed!
Ted finished his cocktail and stared forlornly at the quad below. The window was open, and just for a moment, Ted considered jumping. He envisioned his body hitting the ground, robe fluttering gracefully around him. Just for a moment, the vision brought him peace.
But no! He couldn’t do that. Fervently, Ted reminded himself of all the great works that lay before him. He had Randian principles to legislate and Ronald Reagan’s legacy to hump. He would do all this. But first....there was the matter of revenge.
“I’ll get you women,” he whispered with great malice. “If it’s the last thing I do.....”